autumn thoughts

I sit beside the window sill,, hair aloft as the soft breeze of the autumn blows,,the fields satiated and so my heart..I see the juice from ripe berries oozing out,, the late summer still making flowers bloom...the bees still at work and storing their hives with nector...trees laden with flowers,,,and the dews wet my feet as i walk over the soft moss in the garden...sounds of the drum fill the air to soothe my ear..the clouds clear off and golden beams brighten me up....every moment i am reminded of that it is time and soon enough i will have u hear beside me,, beside this very window sill!!!

The History of the Human Lineage

Chimpanzees are the primates that most closely resemble human beings genetically. Though we are not descended from chimpanzees, we do share with them a common ancestor who lived 8 to 10 million years ago.

The series of transformations that primates have undergone since then to produce the human beings of today are known as hominization. In this process of hominization, a number of different species have been born and died out. Paleoanthropologists use the term “hominids” to designate all these past and present human species.

The dawn of humanity began in Africa between 6 and 4.5 million years ago. The primates of that time who are our ancestors may have used very primitive tools, but the fossil record shows very few traces of human intelligence.

Between 4 and 2 million years ago, another hominid genus, Australopithecus, lived in Africa. Members of this genus walked on two feet, had larger brains than monkeys of the same size, and ate mainly plants. In 1974, a complete skeleton of an adult female Australopithecus was discovered in Ethiopia. This famous specimen has been nicknamed “Lucy”.

Around 2 million years ago, the line of the genus Homo made its official appearance with the species Homo habilis. This species manufactured various crude tools that it used for purposes such as butchering the animals that it ate to supplement its plant diet.

Homo erectus supplanted Homo habilis starting about 1.8 million years ago and lived until about 200 000 years ago. Homo erectus had an even larger brain. This species hunted large herds of animals, had mastered fire, manufactured axes, and spread from Africa to the tropical and temperate zones of Eurasia.


About 500 000 years ago, the earliest forms of our own species, Homo sapiens, first appeared. About 250 000 years ago, a new variety, Homo sapiens neanderthalensis, emerged. These early humans possessed more sophisticated tools, made of stone and possibly of wood. There is little evidence of Neanderthal art, science or religion, but the Neanderthals are believed to have buried their dead (the oldest mortuary site dates back about 100 000 years). Neanderthals were very strong physically, and they were also excellent hunters. They died out scarcely 30 000 years ago.

The Neanderthals’ disappearance was no doubt somehow related to the spread of the next variety of their species, Homo sapiens sapiens (that is, us). Homo sapiens sapiens first appeared about 100 000 years ago, and remains of Cro-Magnon man, the European representative of this group, have been found that date back 35 000 years. With Homo sapiens sapiens, we see the emergence of specifically human activities, such as art and religion. These early humans left behind magnificent cave paintings, the oldest of which, in the Chauvet Cave in France, date back more than 32 000 years.


Over a few tens of thousands of years, Homo sapiens sapiens conquered every climate region of the Earth. Starting about 10 000 years ago, agriculture, the domestication of animals, cities, and writing soon followed.

priye chaarusheele...munchamayi manamanidaanam

The famous romantic quote of all times...

Twamasi mama jeevanam,
Twamasi mama bhushanam
Twamasi mama bhava jaladhiratnam..
Daihi pada pallava mudaram

Love and a question!!

A stranger came to the door at eve,
And he spoke the bridegroom fair.
He bore a green-white stick in his hand,
And, for all burden, care.
He asked with the eyes more than the lips
For a shelter for the night,
And he turned and looked at the road afar
Without a window light.

The bridegroom came forth into the porch
With, "Let us look at the sky,
And question what of the night to be,
Stranger, you and I."
The woodbine leaves littered the yard,
The woodbine berries were blue,
Autumn, yes, winter was in the wind;
"Stranger, I wish I knew."

Within, the bride in the dusk alone
Bent over the open fire,
Her face rose-red with the glowing coal
And the thought of the heart’s desire.
The bridegroom looked at the weary road,
Yet saw but her within,
And wished her heart in a case of gold
And pinned with a silver pin.

The bridegroom thought it little to give
A dole of bread, a purse,
A heartfelt prayer for the poor of God,
Or for the rich a curse;
But whether or not a man was asked
To mar the love of two
by harboring woe in the bridal house,
The bridegroom wished he knew.

Dreams

My dreams beckon me,
to come and chase them..
I see them as a handful of coloured butterflies..
THe more I try to chase them the more disheartening it becomes..

The petite fluttering wings that carry them from flower to flower..
they have rendered me breathless

But then , it is the beauty of the nature..

Dreams are not meant to be acquired but to be relished, as they look more beautiful when uncaptured and unconquered..

Unaware of Thee.......

You were always there within my heart,
where I kept my deepest secrets, where I have nurtured innumerable thoughts..

Yet I seeked you outside only to find my efforts futile!
I thought that you were my happiness

You were the force that would keep me away from wary notions..
I had floated through waves of sheer joy and utter sadness,
Yet never realised how days passed by..

I saw your reflection in everything, in whatever was dear to me..
The more I loved you, the more I became selfless
You were beyond anything else and I revered you with all my heart and soul!

Through despair or unceasing enthusiasm, I had been aloof enough not to feel your presence..
I had complained about you being indifferent, without being aware of my own insecurity!

I now realise, that I had paid no heed to my own self!
I did not search the deep soul within..
I had overlooked that what makes me pious is your very being in me!

Now that the realisation has dawned...
No wonder I find rejuvination in melancholy strains and
No wonder I will find solace when death embraces me!!

The Grief!

A single flaw in thy house,

Where parayers are offered from dusk to dawn.

Even where a pagan bows his head and the saint demolishes every thorn.

Where the chalice intoxicates thee,

The sun blesses with itsfirst ray, The mother’s eternal bliss when she kissed her son
, and the father proud and full of joy!

Where glory pecked your feet and joy soothed you, Asingle flaw poisoned thy holy

offerings, Fate will not let you die, As servants we have prayers to pay,

Walking away from what assigned to thee,

Remorse is thy only way.

An ode to the first downpour

It is raining outside. and I am recalling the first ever downpour that I spent with you!It was my 6th birthday eve.I was longing for the moment when you would make me sit on your lap and fondly feed me Kheer (a sweet dish made of rice and milk) that you used to make for my birthday!.As soon as I got down from the bus, I used to sprint through the rice fields and on seeing you I hopped on to your cozy lap. Your neck and back used to be sweaty due to household chores, and so would be your saree.You kissed me all over my face and hugged me as tightly as you could! I still remember how I would cling to you with my arms flung around your neck and my neck encircling your waist. You then took me inside and helped me climb the bed. I remember the asbestos sloping roof through wich narrow bams of sunlight leached inside the room. The trees outside the window swayed with the soft breeze. I enjoyed the sight of people ploughing the fields or milking the cows, young children playing with ducklings and calves, some people sitting and smoking tobacco leaves while immersed in deep thoughts.

In the mean time you would get me lemonade and my favourite sweets. I ate them earnestly and you would satisfy yourself simply by looking at me. And then it was time to take bath. You hushed me up as I was so busy figuring out the new toys that grandpa had bought for me . You draped me up in a towel and took me to the pond at the backyard of the house. It was becoming dark. Dense black clouds were hovering above and I could hear the sounds of many birds that chirped from the surrounding trees. I was scared and asked you with a trembling voice.."why is it becoming dark dida(granny).."because it is going to rain dear". I walked up to the pond silently with her

By the time we were descending the muddy steps, it had already started drizzling.I felt the first drop of rain water on the back of my palm. That single drop of rainwater accelerated my joy a million fold. I looked up in eagerness and could vaguely make out the drifting clouds. Prior to this day I have never experienced such beauty of the nature. The coconut, date, banana, mango trees and their branches had now begun to sway more wildly. The rustling of the leaves created mysterious sound effects! Somewhere from the far I could here the call of a cow.. It appeared to me something like "hambaaa...hamba....". The ducks were frantically wading through the water. I broke in to hearty laughter at this wonderful sight and I was engrossing each of this wonders. The pond water splashed against the bank and there were ripples wherever tiny drops of rainwater fell

Dida meanwhile washed few utensils, and kept them aside. Next she opened her hair which were tied up in a bun . She oiled them and again tied them back!My heart leaped with joy when she asked me to come near her. She was already half immersed in water and slowly she waded through the water towards me. I stretched my arms and she grabbed them tightly, pulling me slowly and cautiously in the water. I could feel the mud underneath my feet and every now and then I was loosing my balance. I was holding my granny's hands with all my might. It had started raining quite heavily and in no time I was completely soaked. I sat on the banks with my legs happily swinging in the pond water that splashed all around! I could see tiny tadpoles and small fish in the water. I was having hell of a rocking time! I wanted to show them to my grandmother but as I looked up she had already swam half way through. I jumped on my feet and started shouting and clapping my hands. My eyes rolled in excitement as I watched Dida swiftly taking leaps in the water. suddenly I saw her taking a deep breath and dived under the water. I panicked! Where did she disappear? Barely 10 seconds have passed before she reemerged from the water right next to me. Those 10 seconds had scared the hell out of me. I was in frantic tears and felt so helpless. On seeing me Dida embraced and hugged me tightly as I was sobbing uncontrollably! She tried consoling me but I would not budge. " How dare you could leave me and disappear all of a sudden?" Dida was also in tears. She kissed my forehead and promised me that she would be always by ny side. I still remember her penetrating eyes full of tears. I was at peace when my head rested on her bosom and she picked me up draped in her own saree and brought me inside the house.

But then on this thought or you could say this apprehension has not left me completely and I don't remember how many times I have made her swear not to leave me. But we all are puppets at the hand of time and destiny. I grew up in a metropolitan city where the hustle and bustle of the city engrossed me completely. The physical distance was huge between me and Dida that even if we wanted to we could not meet at our will!

She passed away a week ago.. I have not yet been able to digest it. I could not take that my Dida betrayed me! After all she had promised me so many times that she would never leave me. Today I am sitting besides the same pond, my heart aching with agony! My whole body has gone numb and I feel as if I am having a free fall from a great height! Everything that I see around has your signature in some or the other way!..the stairs to the pond, the cattle shed, the kitchen, the bed, the temple and so on!. The iron chest where you kept your sarees still has your odor locked inside. When I close my eyes I can feel your presence very immensely just beside me. I am holding the saree that she was wearing on that day. I draped it around my self and stood transfixed on the muddy stairs, soaked from head to toe, unable to remove my gaze from the pond...........

Destiny vs will power

Well it was almost 6 years ago when I was chosen to perform at one of the most desired stages of the world in the united states! I felt as if a fading dream is finally taking a concrete shape. My happiness knew no bounds and I was elated like anything and my joy was overwhelming! That was the first time I ever stepped out of the country. My parents, relatives, friends, well wishers all of a sudden became aware of my presence. Here i dont mean the physical presence but the presence of my identity. I was engulfed by an illusion and so were my parents. My wings were on fire and i burnt with enthusiasm.

Henceforth started the heavy rehearsal schedules where every single part of my body cried with agony...but yet there was a strange satiation and experiencing this pain was just simply divine!! Throughout I had been a diligent student, and people still recall me as a multi faceted , talented young girl, who has a promising bright future!I always indulged into productive activities; learning a new form of art was the only means of recreation. As I grew up I had to choose my specialisation. A teacher once said U should not be like Jack of all traits and master of none, to which i replied "why can't I be jill of all traits and mistress of some,,, why do i have to choose one, when i am quite capable of multitasking?".My teacher just shoved me off! When this offer came of going to america to dance i knew nothing beyond dance.I was ready to keep anything as bait for it. Next 5 years were the glorious years of my life and I savoured each moment.

Who knew that illusions dissolve with time. It was very difficult in the beginning to digest this but somehow i had to gulp down this hard fact that generally the life curve of an artiste is like a bell shaped curve. There is a steady rise then there is the peak phase and then the curve bends down which marks the end of it. Now the cause behind this kind of curve can be categorised into two types, one which is natural or biological ,i.e, an artiste rises to prosperity, attains a peak of his career and weakens as he or she physically ages. The other type which is being imposed pertaining to political conspiracies mainly! Here I would like to mention an excerpt from Mahabharata, the great hindu epic! The teacher of the Pandavas and the kauravas who were rivals, Guru Dronacharya, did a similar kind of conspiracy! His favourite pupil was Arjuna the great pandava famous as an archer. Eklavya wanted to learn the art of archery from Drona but he savagely denied. Drona did not want any competitors for Arjuna..he was undonted in his decission so he rooted out every possibility of that. He asked for Eklavya's thumb as his price or GuruDakshina which eklavya gave without any hesitation.

In the present scenario as well, there are 1000s of Eklavya's who inspite of their talent and dedication fall victim to such conspiracies and personal family valour and personal gains! Is this what is expected after investing time, dedication, money, etc. Now at the prime of my youth i see my friends settling down and I am still at a crosroad, where my destination is unfocussed! Most people will be frustrated under such circumstances, but then that is the end of it. Just fulfilling normal biological duties of survival doesnot make us humane does it! Living with the system and the nature is known to non human living beings as well. What makes us humane is the ability to make a difference, an ability to put forth a challenge to the situation, an eagerness to fight back and the ceaseless power to stand up with head held high and foot firmly placed on the ground! So it doesnot matter to me whether i have succeeded or failed but what gives me solace is that I have not ever lost hope and I believe that my efforts will definitely be rewarded . May be not at the time when I want it, may be not in the way I want it, but yes, my efforts will not go in vain. I will strive, struggle, fight till my last breath!!!!

Introspection

Look into thy self!
There’s a great world within,
It is I, the sound could be heard,
Along the beating of the heart!

Wisdom shines here every day,
Colourful hopes fly all around,
A wonderous dreamland that carpets my world,
And the tiny dews that bring me peace.

This is a world of everyones’ desire, yet,
Every man so different!
Greed has overpowered hopes and the dews,
Turned to dust.
What man is hungry for, is a mirage,
That shows glory everywhere.
They have become stranger to themselves,
And lost into nothingness!

I hold no anguish, no curse against anyone,
Yet I would not like to see the truthful mirror,
That reflects the true face of this world.

Nevertheless, I would like to keep my world alive,
Within me, till I breathe last…

__________0__________

A candle in the dark

Days passed by saying silent prayers. Offerings
were palpable and mute, The
agony inside the heart heightenedAnd
there wasn’t a soul listener Days
passed by longing thy waySolitarity
took to mammoth sizeThe
soaring pain couldnot cease my footsteps,Yet I
never lost the horizon’s sight. As firm
as a pillar could beMy faith
never lost hopeAmidst
the scary darkness ,There
was no light except that from within! I have
shown path to manyIwas by
every bodies sideWhen
time came I was orphanedNobody around
to confide! Days
passed by sighing, waiting, desiringNo
fellow to console, no one to answerA candle
burns itself to enlighten othrs,That’s
what I was born to be!!!